can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
