Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
