She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
