a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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