my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize