update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
