Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize