did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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