Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
