I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
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