I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
