i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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