But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
