I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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