last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
