I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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