Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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