Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
