I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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