Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
