am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
