guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize