I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've blown a few things in my day
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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