**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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