I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
