I need help removing her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
