these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
