Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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