Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
