Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize