Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
