Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize