This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
