Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
