forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sex in the backyard? Check.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
