Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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