are you still at the devil's house?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
