I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
false alarm. still invincible.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
