She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Rumble strips road head = magical
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize