Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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