pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
