What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
