best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
