he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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