girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
