1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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