Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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