ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
