Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
