You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
