My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You pole danced in your parka.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize