at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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