I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize