John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
