i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
