At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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