And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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