I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
