don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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