Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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