I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
