I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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