You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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