Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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